Day 5: Trust

This post is more serious. You’ve been warned.

About seven months ago my husband lost his job. Mind you, we’d only been married for about a month – yes, 30 days – and what I thought our life was to be totally changed in an instant. I’ll never forget the phone call.

Me: Babe? You there?

Him: Yes. (long pause) They let me go.

Me: Okay. This is okay. God knows what He’s doing, right?

Right? I have known that to be true my whole life, even when I was young watching my parents fight and scream at each other for hours on end. Even when two of my role-model aunts passed away so unexpectedly I can still feel the raw emotion sting inside my chest. Even when my heart broke after a year long relationship I dreamed would end in a happily-ever-after. SURELY the Lord had something good planned with this. With this shock, this hurt, this confusion. Oh, I should mention he worked for our church. The very church we clung to in times of shock, hurt, and confusion. Now what? Now where do we go?

I am thankful that my anxious personality miraculously faded the weeks following my husband’s termination. He was weak; I was strong. He was angry; I was thankful. Sounds weird to admit that but truly I was! I believe in a God who sees and knows the big picture, who is far more gracious and loving than I could ever imagine. However, the strength and thankfulness also faded as we’re going on month eight of unemployment. I started to doubt whether the Lord’s plans really were good. It made no sense to me. Why would he bless me so much in one year and follow our honeymoon with this smack in the face? Where was the goodness? But I kept trusting.

And here I am. Month eight. Stronger, happier, more sure than ever that I am seen and heard. More sure than ever that His plans really ARE what’s best. I wouldn’t have chosen this path for my life, but I promise you I wouldn’t go back. This was exactly what was to happen. To avoid too many details, my husband and I have seen firsthand the faithfulness of our Creator in this whole thing. In fact, he’s been interviewing with another church this past month and looks like his start date is April 1! (Let’s hope it’s not an April Fools joke, huh?) Here’s the phone call from today, March 5, 2019.

Me: How did it go today at the church?

Him: It went super well! They have a great team. I loved it!

It’s in this new church we hope to find real community with people who also walk through the junk life brings, are honest about its pain, and move forward. I’ve learned more than I’ve wanted to about trust this year…but it was worth every single second. I believe this next season of life will be a great one!

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4 thoughts on “Day 5: Trust

  1. I see why you chose to call your blog “count it all joy.” Your post reveals what a truly encompassing philosophy it is for you. You express yourself so well here. You take us through your hurt and anxiety and on to the other side as you surrender to trust. As you renew you faith and decide anew to trust. Wishing. You and your husband all the best, as you face everything life brings, together. Beautiful piece, thanks for sharing so honestly.

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